Our Precious Past: Etta Mae Dora Cato and Her Siblings

I remember Grandma Cato (Etta Mae Dora Cato) as being a small, dark woman. But photos posted by the Cato Clan this week show her as pretty darned stout. Perhaps, as my Ma Cato did, and as Aunt Alice did, she got smaller as she grew older.

Grandma had hair that fell to the back of her knees when she took it out of the knot she wore on the top of her head. All that pretty silver hair was held with two or three small tortoiseshell combs. I used to love to brush her hair when I was little. She'd sit at the dressing table and I'd brush and wish my hair would be that long.

Whenever Grandma stayed with us, she'd get the front bedroom to herself, but because my room was next to the bathroom, she'd sleep in my room. That just meant I got to sleep between Ma and Pa, so I didn't care!

I don't believe Grandma ever had a place of her own when she was older. I think I heard my Pa say that she would live with each of her children a few months of the year. That must have been difficult for her. Her own home had been stolen from her and I guess she never recovered.

When her husband, our Great Great Grandfather James Cato died, Dora and her children lived on a farm in Cape Girardeau. Grandma didn't read or write, except to sign her name. One of her brother-in-laws sons came to her one day with some papers to sign. She had no reason to doubt him, I guess. What she was signing was the deed to her property and soon she and her children were homeless.

I've heard two versions of what happened after Grandma died regarding the old Cato farm. I know the Cato children all went back to Cape Girardeau to see what could be done. I think I heard from my Aunt Florence that they actually filed and won a case, but that the judge, instead of giving back the farm, gave them each a share of what the farm would have sold at in 1915. It amounted to less than $500 for each child. It was a huge disappointment. But in speaking to my mother this morning, she thinks they spoke with an attorney who told them that what I've stated above would be the outcome and that it wasn't worth filing a suit. I have the information at home that Aunt Florence gave me, so I'll correct this once I get back to Portland. Either way, the farm was lost.

Dora, as others called her, was born either in Alexander or Byron Hill, Illinois around June 2, 1871. She would have been born at home. Her parents were Annabee Farmer and Fieldon Glen Herrell, who were married in Bollinger, Missouri around 1862.

Dora first shows up in Liberty, Bollinger County, Missouri in the 1880 Census as being 9 years old. This makes sense as the census is taken every 10 years so in 1870 she would not have been born yet.

Dora had eight brothers and sisters of her own. You'll notice in interviews with the old folks, these siblings are called "own brothers and own sisters." She also had at least six half-siblings, as her father remarried after her mother died.

The eldest was Cynthia (aka "Sitha"), born in 1863. Then came John M. in 1867, Ida Alice in 1869, then our grandmother, Dora.

Next came William A. in 1873, James O. in 1875, Lilly Belle in 1877/1888 (aka "Jiley" or "Tiley" in the records).

Annabee Farmer died in 1881, and on June 7, 1884 Fieldon married Mary E. Robinson. From this union came six more children: Susan Annie born 1885 (aka "Nan") and a twin to Lewis according to some family sources. Twins do run in this family. Aunt Oma Cato was a twin. Next was Alvah (Albie) b. February 1887, Benjamin H. born March 1889, George W. born February 1891, Harry M born August 1893, and Frank W born June 1896. If you read the interview with Aunt Oma and Chap, you will have heard Chap refer to all these uncles, so they apparently stayed in touch. I've got death certificates for all of these siblings if anyone is doing their own research. Uncle Frank is the only one I've found photos of. If any of you Cato kids have old photos laying around, please share them.

Uncle Frank Wells Herrell and his wife Bessie

In later years

Uncle Frank Herrell

Good fishin!

After Grandpa Herrell died, Mary Robinson moved up on the mountain and according to Aunt Oma and Pa, married a man named Zolman. In the 1900 Census, she's living with a fellow named Johnson, so I don't know if this is a relative or if it's the same guy as Zolman. The census lists her as Johnson's wife, but the column that asks how many years they've been married is blank. So I don't know. I may unravel this mystery with time. the 1910 census shows her as a widow, and she's going by the name of Zolman. I did find her father, and her maiden name was Wolf.

I think women married many times back in those days. The men died of flu, typhoid, war, accidents, and the women were left with a brood of children and no way to support them. So they'd remarry. Then that husband would die, and they'd remarry again. So I don't find fault in the many times these women marry.

At age 17, Dora was married to a man named John Crites. They had a son, Johnny, who died at about age 12. The 1900 Census shows her as being divorced, and I do find John Crites going on to remarry and have another family.

Dora married our Grandpa James Cato in 1906, and Uncle Jimmy was born in 1899. Note for those doing research. The 1900 census taker listed Jimmy's age as 6. But if you look closely you see his birth date is clearly stated as July 1899. He was 6 MONTHS old. He was about 6 years old when they got married. Uncle Jimmy was illegitimate and the story is that her sister Sitha's husband, Tom Null, raped her. Jimmy was always acknowledged and treated well by the family, according to my Grandmother Inez. He was a mean little guy, who tormented Chap and Fielden (according to them), but they all were great friends as adults.

I asked my mom what she remembered about Grandma Cato. She says when she became an adult she really felt sorry for her. She felt like a "non entity" around the house. She lived 3 months with each of the kids. She was a good soul. She never complained. She wasn't that old when mom was growing up but she seemed old.

I guess I'd be sad if I'd been raped, lost my husband when I had a houseful of kids to support, had a mean brother-in-law steal my farm and kick me and the kids off, and had to live with my children in my older years, with no place to call my own. I think she had a sad life. I'm sorry I didn't spend more time learning about her thoughts and feelings.

If any of your parents have memories of her, I hope you'll share them on the Cato Family of Missouri Facebook Page. Call your folks and ask them about her. What do they remember? We'd love to know more

There was an old wooden house called "the old P.I." that Pa Cato built for his family to live in out in Armona, and I have a photo of Grandma standing in front of that.